just a recommendation..

If any of you guys have not heard of the name Jodi Picoult yet, please do try to read this book of hers, you will be amazed how brilliant she is. and check out the link as well, if any of you guys are interested, i have the book:) feel free to ask!

Awake

It has been almost four days since the last time I update my blog. I have no idea who has been reading my thoughts here but if you have something to say, please, feel free to comment, i would love to hear from you.

Anyway, it has been turbulent lately and i have came across some thing that make me realize that the bell of departure has rung and it gets louder and louder as the time draws closer.


Since the weekend of the week before last, most of our friends have been busy attending interviews and sitting for enrollment tests. The release of the date of interview from UPU has apparently stirred the harmony that has been growing in between us for the past few months. Of course, some of you guys must have heard about NAnyang Technology University has released its new intake candidate list yesterday. COngratulations to those who receive offer from this prestiguos UNiversity. Think carefully before you make up your mind whether to or not to agree to take this offer, its once in a life time opportunity for the bright ones as for us, we can just stare in admiration that this golden tickets fall at the doorstep of your house.

I log into facebook today and see those comments of gratitude and greetings inadvertently arises my jealousy that lays within my heart. I cant say that i am not jealous as i can be one of them if i work harder. Sigh*

Sometimes i just can be like one of them, to be somebody....

Torment..Gratitude

I am trying to figure out whats the best word to describe what i have been through last week...

Complicated? Random? Troublesome? Unpredictable? Catastrophe?

Or shall i say Lesson?

Last week, well most of you who are very much close to me must have heard about the incident that occurred. That incident, might not be as terrible as how you guys think it was, but to me i have learnt a great lesson from it. And i am writing this article to show my appreciation to the people who has had been standing up for me and giving me advice when I needed the wisdom to face the issues.

.....................

Amelia,

thank you for being beside me as always when i face this kind of problems.

you are always the first one there whenever things happen to me and when i needed a shoulder to lean on.

The first person that came across my mind to share this burden was you, as i know,

you have that patience to listen to me and you have the mind that keep doing its math and helping me to find a way out to these heaps of dilemma.

Come to think of it, ever since the first time, i remember the night when i took the bus to Olio after the fight with my mum, you were there for me, keeping your mind open and savouring the bitterness that i kept pouring over you but you still, always kept the smiles on you as if there were no fear in your heart. And i knew you will always be there for me, thank you Amelia. And of course ben, who always kept his masochism on but beneath him, i know , he cares, thank you Ben:)

i know i have not said this in front of you but Ben, Amelia, thank you. FOr everything....

..............................

Coming up: Marcus, Steven, Kyra and of course.... Cancer........

Capricorn & Cancer : Cursed Archer

They said Archer are the decendant of the Eagles.

For that Archer has the eyes that can see ten times further than normal human does,

for that Archer has the killing instinct the sense his prey precisely,

for that Archer has the persistence to hunt down his prey mercilesssly,

for that Archer always stays in the dark and has a good view to see the things where people don't see,

for that Archer has the shadows that shed a chill down the veins of his preys when his shadow soar in the sky,

and for that Archer has always possess the ego that hardly anyone love about it.

I called myself Archer, but i am cursed.

Playing the role as me, was not as simple as people thought it would be. I used to have vision to see what i want, i know my goal vividly, and i always go for it without showing any delay or any effort less than people does. I want to be successful and i want to put my name in the place where everyone hears about it and will praise lavishly.

BUt to do that, it was so hard and tiring. Sometimes, even Archer runs out of energy to pull its bow and lauch its arrow to hit his target too, sometimes i just need to give myself a break.

It has been a lot for me to drain down in the past two months, things changed and things go and return anonymously, and issues had been playing non stop in my mind that weaken my capability to think. Now, i do not think i will be able to pull the trigger as accurate as before i did, people around me dance their way in out of my life living bruises within my intellectual region. I cant think properly now.

I call myself a Cursed Archer.

..................................

Archer had been carrying a sign on his body all the while,

but he as no clue about it until three days ago,

the inscription emerged on his body,

glowing forcefully,

forming

a Capricorn.

Lately when Arhcer feels lonely and when archer is trembling in confusion, a new sign has fallen on him, giving him the strength to fly his way up to his target with a loved heart.

Cancer.

Thank you, for stepping into my life.

Thank you for always been there when i needed you,

Thank you, for bearing my egos,

and thank you for your love.

Admiring The Silver Bird

Two years ago, still remember the conversation between me and a closed friend of mine now about the sky.

We were sitting in her sustainable Kancil, one hell of a strong vehicles that have cruised past many miles and god knows how many obstacles that it had went through. She had, well should i say lost in reverie thinking about the options available regarding our future, and of course, i was pondering deeply about it too.

We were gazing at the blue sky of July, wondering how things will turn out in two years from now.

Through the transparent windshield, both of us were caught by the the scene of a giant bird that drew it tail gracefully over the sky. Yes, it was a really normal scene. Yet, perhaps because of the imagination and the curious mind we had that day, we were thinking deeply about something that might change our future.

The silence between us had not been awkward but we enjoyed the moment of quietness arose between the both us.

But I broke the peace, saying :" I have been thinking for quite awhile about this dream to pursue. I want to do something that i like but i am not sure whether this is the correct decision to go for. "

She said nothing, as if she knew that i would continue to let my words flow.

Hence, i continued, " I want to be a flight attendant."

To my amaze, a grin appeared on her face and she said delightfully, " Why are we having the same dream? I never thought you will have this kind of interest. I am suprised."

Frankly speaking, i was suprised by my very own decision too. Of all the possible path to be chosen i wanted to go for this.

She continued in a worried manner, " But i am worried that if we go for this, what if thirty years from now we stopped flying and have to leave the job? And what other options we have after that? Without a proper degree , there are hardly any way that we will go far from there. Besides, i am sure my family will object the idea of me starting this early career with minimal pay like this, they wont be pleased... ".

That leave us in doubt for a few minutes, and i said, " Lets talk about this after we finish our stpm. "

................................

We were together in the Breeks today, having our lunch whilst accessing the internet, discussing about our Universities application as well as the much talked about interviews lately. She was upset of the conversation she had this morning with her family, mumbling about her malcontent, her family cant comprehend the situation she was in just now , yet she was focused and confused at the same time about all these heaps of interviews and all the things we had in our hand now.

In the end, she ended up flying to Kl for the interview of UPM tonight at 2145. I have another friend who rushed all his way up yo UUM for just one interview. Another friend going To UPM for interview as well, and i am certain that that we are number of us heading to sit for Munshi test this coming Saturday.

Everything seemed to be so vague and tentative to us now. Not just me but all of us and all you guys who are reading now this article. The options of coures to be weighed, the distance, the preference of the course, the career prospect of the course and more importantly, the dwindling amount of time that we have to spend together.

I am sure that this conversation had been running again and again ever since the beginning of STPM, or some even started to talk about it before STPM. The stomach twitching feeling is undescribable, once the bond formed, we will be so so attached to the friendship we had and now we are going through this tough phase that see distance and time draw us apart.

..................................

" I think, i will just stick to the more secure plan, i will finish my degree and i will go for my dream. "

" I guess, thats the wiser move. And for that at least we will have a chance to stay in touch longer. "

two years ago, i admired the Silver bird, strolled its way past the clouds.

Two years after, I still admire the Junoesque figure of it. But, I will reach it in different way, one day, I am going to ride on it and leave a foot print in every corner of the globe.

And for that, this Silver bird will always be the story between us and may the memory flows.

Thank you Kyra, for being the perpetual memory in my life.

Nonetheless, all my dear friends, when the bell of the univeristies call, we knew that the time for us to depart is no longer far away, please do , always

give me a miss call when you feel bored.

Nudged me when you see me on msn.

spam me on my facebook status when your hand is itchy,

and please do, stay in touch.

All the best in pursue of our dream!!